The house is not at all neat, so much so I have already announced to the children my resolve not to let the clutter get me cranky. I am going to turn a blind eye to it, remembering that a day will come when we will miss this evidence of fast-paced family life.
The tree is not up, and the large Nativity scene is not alight outside our window. Our Christmas cards are not yet mailed, and an alarming number of my gifts have not been purchased. Maureen and Eileen still need black shoes for Christmas Eve, and I have decided the Christmas village does not need to make an appearance this year.
A couple of days ago, I asked myself why things were so scattered this year. Why is the house so difficult to maintain and all the usual Christmas preparations so far behind? Of course, I realized the answer almost instantly, ashamed to have even asked the question. Needless to say, it is because my mother is not here! How often must she have tidied up without me even noticing--and I thought things were under control because we were all so neat. How many errands did I run leaving her home reading books to the little ones--and I thought things were getting done because I was such a good planner. How many times did she show up with stamps and drop off a bundle of mail for me on her way home--and I thought my cards were out on time because our family had thought ahead!
Now this post may sound like a pre-Christmas downer, but it is not at all meant to be. I make these observations with a grateful heart and unblemished smile, laughing to realize that, grown woman though I may be, I still had a bit of childish obliviousness toward all my mother was doing around here. She would say it was nothing, but the absence of nothing would not be so keenly felt, would it?
So thank you Mom, for four decades of dedication second to none. I hope I can do half as much for my seven children as you've done for me!
Praying for her still, Alice.
Posted by: Maria Ashwell | December 19, 2007 at 08:36 AM
What a beautiful model of the mother-daughter relationship this shows us.
I know these helps were a blessing and joy to your mom as well.
I thought of her during the prayers of the Great Litany a few Sundays ago. You all remain in my prayers as you find a path through these difficult, yet blessed, days.
Posted by: Ann C. | December 19, 2007 at 09:09 AM
Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman. She has my prayers for her continued recovery.
Posted by: Beck | December 19, 2007 at 09:43 AM
Well I've got tears in my coffe now, this was so beautiful and Alice your mother knows what she's got in you, you're her all over again. God Bless you!
Posted by: Meredith | December 19, 2007 at 10:01 AM
Another beautiful inspirational post. Thank you for sharing.
Posted by: vicki | December 19, 2007 at 10:19 AM
She's quite a lady!
Posted by: Mary Ellen Barrett | December 19, 2007 at 10:45 AM
Oops - I hit "post" too soon.
That was a beautiful post and I know you miss her presence around the house. I also know how much joy she brought with her when she was there. Again, she's quite a lady.
We pray for dear Mrs. O'Brien here daily.
Posted by: Mary Ellen Barrett | December 19, 2007 at 10:48 AM
Good mothers are one of the greatest gifts God gives us - so great, that they are impossible to fully appreciate. Your beautiful mother is very much in my prayers, Alice.
Posted by: Kristen Laurence | December 19, 2007 at 10:54 AM
This is so sweet! One of the great pleasures of my adult life is friendship with my mother. We just can't have that when we're young, and I'm so looking forward to it with my own children, too. God bless you, Alice!
Posted by: Jennie C. | December 19, 2007 at 11:50 AM
You and your mother have been in my thoughts and prayers. This is a beautiful tribute to her.
Posted by: Christine M | December 19, 2007 at 12:31 PM
Mom's are irreplaceable, aren't they? Continuing to say many prayers for yours.
Posted by: sarah in va | December 19, 2007 at 12:45 PM
Dearest Alice,
Such a beautiful post about a beautiful lady!!! Thanks for the reminder to cherish my mom!!!
Love you!!!
Posted by: Heather - Doodle Acres | December 19, 2007 at 01:22 PM
Oh, Alice, that's sad, but a beautiful reminder of gratitude too. Seems perfect for the sense we're supposed to have about Advent and Christmas.
Posted by: Love2learn Mom | December 19, 2007 at 02:06 PM
Dear Alice, I've been meaning to tell you that I pray every day for your mother, and for you. I hope I can be half as good a mother to my girl as she has been to you, and that Rose turns out as lovely as you!
Posted by: patience | December 19, 2007 at 02:29 PM
Alice, my mum is exactly like that too - where would I be without her blessed help and support in these very practical ways? I know just how thankful you feel, such blessings they are in all ways...
Posted by: aussieannie | December 19, 2007 at 03:23 PM
This is so sweet and lovely, Alice. My prayers for your mother, and for you and your family, continue.
Posted by: Karen Edmisten | December 19, 2007 at 04:01 PM
Alice, your writings about your mother make me love her very much. I too, pray for her and you daily.
Posted by: Cheryl M. | December 19, 2007 at 04:26 PM
Oh Alice I know what you mean. The Advent wreath and a few scattered cards are the only evidence here that Christmas is just 6 days away. With us it's my husband who is such a help to me but has been distracted visiting and caring for his very sick mother. I'll be shopping tomorrow and Friday to try and get it all done, then Sat. we'll put the tree up. I'll be thinking of you then and trying to follow your resolve to remain cheerful. Please know that you and your mother are in our prayers!
Love,
Posted by: Michele Quigley | December 19, 2007 at 04:53 PM
Oh, Alice! Thank you for this post, on so many levels. I couldn't even begin to say what it meant to me to read it. Thank you for taking something as mundane (and frustrating) as immovable clutter, and turning it into a beautiful reflection. What a gift you have.
And what a gift must be your mother, too. She remains in our prayers.
Posted by: Eileen | December 19, 2007 at 07:52 PM
We're praying daily for you and your mother.
God bless you Alice!
Posted by: Helen (Mary Vitamin) | December 20, 2007 at 12:29 AM
I am praying for your mom, Alice. Love,
Posted by: Rebecca | December 20, 2007 at 02:23 AM
Alice,
I'm sure your mom missing doing all those little things for you as much as you miss her being there.
This must be such a hard time for both of you. Renewing my efforts to keep you both in prayer.
God bless. Love, Jane
Posted by: Jane Ramsey | December 20, 2007 at 08:12 AM
Oh Alice--This is the first Advent in five years I've actually gotten things done and it's because my helpers have all been aligned...your thoughts are expressed beautifully and your mom has our continued prayers.
Posted by: Colleen | December 20, 2007 at 09:25 AM
Thankyou for sharing your beautiful thoughts, they are contrary of being a pre- Christmas downer. In fact they are very inspiring. Have a beautiful Christmas, and know we are still praying for you and your mother!!
Posted by: Dawn | December 20, 2007 at 12:35 PM
Alice, what a beautiful tribute to your mother. I, too, hope I can be that kind of blessing to my children. Thank you for sharing your heart with me today.
Posted by: Lisa | December 20, 2007 at 06:15 PM
Alice I hope you know your
Mother is SO PROUD of you.
She also LOVED everything
and every second with you
since you were BORN!
Posted by: Therese | December 20, 2007 at 10:10 PM
I completely understand. I know too well every feeling you describe on so many levels. Even ten years after my mother's death, I still weep for her at Christmas time. I pray you share some lovely smiles and prayers with your mother this Christmas. God bless you both.
Posted by: Lorraine | December 21, 2007 at 08:39 PM
Still praying for your Mom (and you)! May God grant you a peacful Christmas.
My house is NEVER neat (not even 2 hours after I had a friend help me with the cleaning), we did Advent devotions exactly ONCE (I can't even find the time to give my kids the piece of candy in the Pre-made calendar) and my tree JUST got up (only because my DH went to Wal-Mart between snowstorms this week)and our outdoor Nativity Scene is still in the attic.
Hang in there!
Love:
Mary Beth
Posted by: Mary Beth P | December 22, 2007 at 06:36 AM
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the laundry piled to the ceiling!
Posted by: Mary Beth P | December 22, 2007 at 06:37 AM
Prayers are continuing for you and your Mom in Cork and California.
This is wonderful to acknowledge that you miss her being around. I wish my Mum was here now to help me. Larry is gone to the Niner game and before he went I had to supervise the laundry (with my arm I couldn't do it) how could a man be 44 and not know how to do it!! Now I wish Gwen was here to do the ironing, she would win a prize for ironing. Instead I posted some of her wonderful art on my Blog to feel close to her. I am so sorry I didn't inherit her ability to paint or iron.
Hugs to one and all in your home this christmas.
Leona
Posted by: Leona | December 23, 2007 at 02:13 PM
I, too, have been praying for your Mom and for your family. That was a beautiful post. Love,
Jeanne
Posted by: Jeanne | January 01, 2008 at 10:42 PM
I enjoyed reading this and seeing that you appreciated your mother greatly. I hope this Christmas will bring more wonderful memories.
And you made me cry a bit as I really miss the days when my children were little and still at home. You are smart to enjoy while you can.
Course I love them now that they are grown-ups too. It's a different kind of fun.
Posted by: Anna | October 13, 2008 at 01:35 PM