Mid-life Crisis Averted

Not so long ago, I was under the impression that the classic "mid-life crisis" was about vanity. Such a phase, I supposed, was the sphere of the youth-obsessed and the worldly, the self-absorbed and the shallow. The aging socialite going in for a nip and tuck and the graying executive behind the wheel of a spang new Porsche were, to my way of thinking, the poster children for this type of infantile and downright embarrassing late-life episode.

That was before over a dozen happy, harried, hurried years fled by, leaving behind a bewildered woman in her late thirties wondering what ever happened to the time that once seemed to stretch out indefinitely before me, time I thought would leave numberless opportunities to live out all my plans, to have babies, to write books, time to dream a million dreams and accomplish every one.

Pondering the dizzying rapidity of these years, my mind turned to a specific point in the past. I was twenty-four years old and wearing a dark pink suit with gold buttons. My long hair was curled, and I smiled at the world, pausing now and then to laugh with friends, stepping across a large reception hall, being introduced for the first time to a tall twenty-five year old man . . . .

Looking back upon that blessed moment, I shed a single, almost inexplicable, tear, a tear born not out of any sentiment or sorrow. It was a tear for that long-haired girl. I could read her story now and knew she would have a happy and blessed life, but where was she? Was I still that girl, or was she gone, vanished in the hazy blur of memory?

[Now I realize this thought sounds just as trite and vain and silly as ever a mid-life crisis could, but there is more.]

At that very moment, my husband strode into the living room, mercifully unaware of the deep thoughts scattered round the place like spare throw pillows, plunked down beside me and our placid baby girl on the couch, and said, "Honey, I love you. I have loved you since the first time I met you."

I am chuckling to think of it now, feeling a bit like the dramatically swooning woman from an old movie speedily treated with smelling salts, or perhaps just a swift pat on the back and an urgent "snap out of it!" Of course I was still that girl--he still knew me even without the curls and the gold buttons. In that instant, I saw more clearly than ever before how Christ, through the sacrament of Holy Matrimony, measures out His grace and mercy:

"Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow Him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's burdens, to be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ, and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love. In the joys of their love and family life he gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb."

--Catechism of the Catholic Church, Section 1642.

Thus, a perfectly good, budding mid-life crisis was stopped in its tracks, all through Grace and a well-timed kindness.

If I were to attempt to put into words this bittersweet and beautiful time of our life, with the children all still home and a baby asleep in my arms, I would compare it to a long anticipated trip up a mountain. At the outset of the journey, the mountain seemed so grand and imposing. I could not even see the top of it. Much preparation and thought were put into the trip, and my husband and I set out excitedly, confident that endless adventure lied before us, certain we would explore each peak and ridge for a thousand years. Then, before we had even mounted the first hill, I realized we were already at the top with seven dear traveling companions. The summit is sunny and warm, and we are all in a circle round the campfire, yet I am surprised to see that the view beyond is not as far as I had understood it to be. Hold on a minute, I falter, this was supposed to be a long, long trip. How is it the end seems so near?

Just as I am about to feel crestfallen, my husband passes me a pair of binoculars. Lifting them to my eyes, the exuberance returns, for I can see there is more beyond this paltry hill, miles more--the vista goes on forever, rolling and sweeping into the distance, with faraway peaks dappled in a rosy mist only hinting at the endless expedition to come.

It turns out our dear little hill is but a stepping stone, a threshold to a Land of far Greater Promise, our merry campfire a foretaste of the jubilation and cheer to come.

But, for now, how blessed we are to bask in its glow together.

Comments

[Cheryl]

Oh Alice....so beautiful! And I just love the wedding photo. I too, feel I am at the summit wanting to sit at the campfire much longer...but it seems like my teen boys are ready to run down the hill without me....please pass those binoculars, please..:)

[Love2learn Mom]

How beautiful!

[Cay]

Beautiful...
No other word fits the beauty of this post, Alice.

[Jennie C.]

I love it when my beloved knows what I'm thinking, even when he doesn't know he knows. He says I do that to him all the time, too. It must be true love, I think, when two people are so close to each other that thoughts can be heard as easily as words. Not every one has that, you know.

[Genevieve]

This is such an encouraging post because I am that girl with the pink suit and gold buttons, early on my journey.

[Amy]

This is so beautiful! I wish my dh was here, it makes me want to hug him and tell him how much I love him! :)

[Angel]

Thank you, Alice; this was beautiful. I guess I am approaching the summit of this hill -- not quite there yet -- but getting closer faster than I thought was possible.

[Diane]

Oh Alice, I'm speechless. How is it that you are able to put into perfect words the tenderest of thoughts, which lie at the very heart of me?

You are amazing. And loved more than you could ever imagine.

[Katherine in TX]

Alice, this is such a beautiful post. It brought tears to my eyes. I know exactly what you mean and I love that you expressed it so beautifully.

Your wedding picture is absolutely priceless.

[Karen E.]

Do you get tired of me saying, "Oh, Alice ... that's so beautiful!"?? I just can't help it ... it is, and so are you.

[Jennifer]

You made me cry. That was beautiful!! What a wonderful, wonderful post!!

[Jennifer]

Amazing post, Alice, and beautiful photo!

[Melissa]

I love this! It is perfect and beautiful and captures exactly what I think must be at the heart of every happy marriage...the anticipation, the basking, the looking ahead together. Thank you so much for sharing it!

[Dawn]

Dear Alice, I do not know how to thank you for this beautiful post. I am in tears - and complete understanding!

I am printing out this post to tuck in my prayer journal. I want to remember your words here ... God bless you!

[Rose]

What a beautiful love story.

[Cheryl]

Oh Alice...I really do hope you write a book.

[Ann]

Your words inspire so much gladness... for Holy Marriage, for True Love... thank you, Alice.

[Glenn]

Oh Alice, this post is full of grace, as are you. We are so lucky to get to read these thoughts. I do hope you write at least one book!

[Kathryn]

Beautiful, Alice!

[Lissa]

Oh my dear one, this is unbearably lovely. Thank you. And I just love your sweet husband too!

You know, to me you are still that smiling young mother with the two tiny girls in the double stroller. That was yesterday, no more than a week ago, I'm sure of it!!

[Suzanne Temple]

Lovely, Alice, and beautiful photo!

[Mary Ellen Barrett]

Lovely dear.

[Lisbet]

Alice, simply beautiful! Crisis averted by LOVE!

[Lynn]

You are a true storyteller, lady, of the highest sort, and we are so fortunate for it. I treasure this story and its' sentiment.
xxoo
Lynn

[Account Deleted]

This is beautiful.

[Meredith]

Amazing Alice, you've made my 41 year old day today!

[THERESE]

OH! Alice,
You made me cry,we are
so lucky to have you.But
please remember you are
sill OUR baby!

[Beck]

Now I have goosebumps - that was just so BEAUTIFUL! Thank you so much for this.

[Maria]

Beautiful, Alice, beautiful.

[Tracy]

Oh Alice I am crying here. That was such a wonderful reflection, thank you.

[Margaret]

This is such a beautiful reflection. Thank you for sharing. You have such a beautiful and tender spirit-truly a blessing.

[Rebecca]

I have returned over and over to read this post today but never commented because I really am speechless. You certainly are such a blessing to me, Alice and I will be praying in gratitude to God for you tonight. Thank you for this post and for your sweet, kind heart.

[Jennifer]

Like Rebecca, this was the first thing I clicked on this morning because I just had to read it again. I is one of the most loving and beautiful images - one filled with such hope. Thank you for sharing it.

[Jenn Miller]

So beautiful, Alice. I love that your dh was so in sync with you...your guardian angel must have sent him to say the perfect thing at the perfect moment.

[Margaret in Minnesota]

Oh, how I love these beautiful "when we met" stories! And yours is particularly beautiful.

Perhaps this could be the start of the next meme?

In any case, God is so very glorified in your marriage, Alice. Why does satan spend so much time attacking marriage & the priesthood? I think the question answers itself but here is my thought regardless: because both institutions are life-giving and the devil despises new life.

Well, too bad for him! For we have read (and are reading) the Good Book...and we know full well the ending!

[KC]

Just reading this as I catch up on my internet reading. Such a beautiful post, Alice.