My heart is heavy tonight thinking about friends who have lost babies through miscarriage these past few days. One by one, a little row of lights went out, giving way to the darkness of disappointment and loss.
Miscarriage PrayerMy Lord, the baby is dead!
Why, my Lord—dare I ask why? It will not hear the whisper of the wind or see the beauty of its parents’ face—it will not see the beauty of Your creation or the flame of a sunrise. Why, my Lord?
“Why, My child—do you ask ‘why’? Well, I will tell you why.
You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”
I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity.
-- Mother M. Angelica
This prayer is a profound one and cuts to the heart of the mystery of miscarriage. There is just one small phrase I would change if I could: "I speak as a fool."
Mother Angelica's words are true, and I understand her meaning--the parent in the dialogue seems to be forgetting God's promise of Eternal Life: "[E]ye has not seen, and ear has not heard . . . what God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Cor. 2: 9. Still, when mothers of faith grieve for want of our little ones, we cast no doubt on this promise. We trust God. We trust Him completely. We know our darlings are happy and in a better place than we could ever hope to give during this brief exile on earth.
Yet, we want them. We want them with all our hearts.
*******
[Note: Please take a look at the comments for some good insight on this prayer and the use of "fool" in the context of Franciscan Spirituality.]
Dear Alice,
This is a beautiful prayer. Thank you for posting it. I wonder if Mother Angelica (a Poor Clare) is using the term "fool" the way many Franciscans do? St. Maximilian Kolbe encouraged all to become a "fool for the Immaculate." It could be a Franciscan "family term."
I will remember your friends in prayer today.
Love,
Helen
Posted by: Helen | October 25, 2006 at 09:08 AM
I will also pray for your friends. Words fails me.
Posted by: Jennifer | October 25, 2006 at 09:12 AM
Is Mother Angelica a Poor Clare?
Posted by: Helen | October 25, 2006 at 09:14 AM
Alice, thank you for posting this beautiful prayer. I will be praying today for all who have lost a little one.
Posted by: Rebecca B. | October 25, 2006 at 09:20 AM
Yes, I believe Mother Angelica is a Poor Clare. Still, I did not perceive her to be using term "fool" in the Franciscan context, because the prayer says, "I speak as a fool--forgive me."
I hope I did not sound at all critical of my beloved Mother Angelica and her wonderful, hope-filled prayer. I pointed it out because I think the prayer speaks to one side of the miscarriage issue (Why, why did this happen?). I feared it might sound harsh to a faithful mother who is not questioning God's will or the beauty of the heavenly reward promised to her child, but just feeling the deepest kind of sorrow and emptiness. I guess what I mean is that, although I love the prayer, I was unsure if it precisely fit the specific women I was praying for.
Posted by: Alice Gunther | October 25, 2006 at 09:41 AM
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful prayer. My husband and I lost our first baby nearly seven years ago at ten weeks of pregnancy, and it was a loss from which I'll never fully recover. I'm praying today especially for your friends, and for all mothers who have ever lost a baby.
Posted by: Melissa | October 25, 2006 at 09:48 AM
Alice, what a beautiful and moving prayer....what a blessing to know that two of my five children already see the face of God. Thank you.
Posted by: Cheryl | October 25, 2006 at 10:09 AM
I must admit that I think about the little ones I've lost so often. Thank you for posting this prayer; I will pray it today for those who have lost babies this week.
In dealing with miscarriage, I am not sure I ever felt like a "fool" in the way the term is usually used, but instead I know I felt so totally ignorant and helpless. It's so hard to have faith in those situations, and yet that is exactly what we need. I remember with my first miscarriage that, sobbing, I went to the Bible. It felt open to a description of the Resurrection, and it was only clinging to those passages that I was able to make it through the next few days.
Posted by: Angel | October 25, 2006 at 11:31 AM
Beautiful, Alice. I had not seen this prayer, and I thought I'd read everything on miscarriage ... your sharing will be a comfort to so many today. What a blessing your thoughtfulness is to us all.
Posted by: Karen E. | October 25, 2006 at 11:41 AM
What a beautiful prayer! Three years ago we lost our daughter Mary (she was stillborn at 36 1/2 weeks). Mother Angelica's are true. We mourn for ourselves because we will not know that child here on earth. However, we do not mourn for that child because she is in the arms of Jesus.
Posted by: Heather | October 25, 2006 at 12:23 PM
Alice, it can be so healing to wrap our grieving hearts in a beautiful prayer like this one. And I agree with you. I'd just like to change or omit the line asking for forgiveness. I believe that an especially tender heart is God's gift to mothers. Grief requires no apology. It's all a part of the healing, even for the most faithful mother.
Posted by: Ann | October 25, 2006 at 12:36 PM
Oh Alice! You never sound critical. There’s good reason everyone loves you so much. I had to come back to make sure my words didn’t sound too critical (The agony of comments) Your explanation in your cmment makes so much sense. In your effort to console dear friends in this time of grief, you didn’t want this word to cause them further suffering. I was only trying to do the same thing.
Many find The Imitation of Christ difficult to read because of the way Thomas a Kempis uses the word “worm” to describe himself. (On the other hand, St. Therese said this was the only book, aside from the Gospels, that she could read.) I was also trying to soften the sound of “fool” by saying it might have different connotations for a life long, fully professed, penance embracing, zealous for souls Franciscan/Poor Clare like Mother Angelica.
Love,
Helen
Posted by: Helen | October 25, 2006 at 02:29 PM
>I was also trying to soften the sound of >“fool” by saying it might have different >connotations for a life long, fully >professed, penance embracing, zealous >for souls Franciscan/Poor Clare like .Mother Angelica.
That is such an excellent point, Helen. It makes sense that, for a Franciscan, this term does not have the same negative connotation it has in general speech--in fact, if anything, it is actually a term of endearment and honor. It reminds me of St. Louis de Montfort calling himself the "slave" of Our Lady. Normally slave is such a terrible term, but for those familiar with Montfort's True Devotion, it is one of the noblest callings a person could ever strive to reach.
Thank you for your insight! (And you could never sound critical either, by the way!)
Posted by: Alice Gunther | October 25, 2006 at 04:51 PM
Alice said:"One by one, a little row of lights went out, giving way to the darkness of disappointment and loss."
This image is so appropriate and so sadly beautiful.
We also lost our first child to miscarriage.Thank You for reminding me of that child today, Alice.
Posted by: Suzanne Temple | October 25, 2006 at 05:06 PM
Alice,
Your post is beautiful and very thoughtful.
Posted by: Cheryl | October 25, 2006 at 08:27 PM
Thank you for posting this prayer Alice.
Posted by: Lisbet | October 26, 2006 at 11:33 PM